seeking simplicity

new blog

2011-04-06T11:27:00.002-05:00

I have "officially" retired this blog. You can find me here. =)

so long, farewell...

2010-01-13T11:18:00.002-06:00

to 2009...

Hello 2010 resolutions!

I'll try and make this quick and painless.

1. I want to meet people who are homeless. Jacob's Well does a great job of helping people, but I don't want to depend solely on the church to do it for me. So I'm trusting that God will help provide a way for me to do this.

2. Listen more than talk. I just want to be more aware of what's going on around me and what people are really saying, and I found it's harder to do that if I'm talking all the time!

3. Be honest with myself. I tend to morph to be like the people I'm around, and so starting this year, I'm really praying God helps me see who I am in Christ, and that I'll accept that, and be more comfortable in my own skin.

4. Run a half-marathon. Last year I did Bloomsday. This year, I'm thinking either the Rock and Roll half-marathon in Seattle, or Run Like Hell in Portland. Or maybe I'll do both. Or maybe not. But I want to be able to run it in such a way where I don't feel competitive towards TJ, where I don't feel bad if I run 10 minute miles, and I can just enjoy the fact that I'm accomplishing something I never thought I could.

5. Shop more intentionally. I'm not a big shopper. Not because I don't like to necessarily, but because I'm horrendously cheap and practical. But now, I'm starting to find value in supporting local business, buying higher quality products that last, and buying straight from the vender (like etsy or craft shows).

6. Spend less time on the computer. It's gotten out of hand. I probably check my facebook/blogger stuff/email 25 times throughout the day if given the chance. And so one of the ways I've decided to cut back is to take a break from the blogging world for a while. Or maybe for good. I'm not sure yet. I've been thinking about it the last few months, and now I finally feel peace about stopping. I'll probably continue to check up on my friends and family, and maybe leave a comment here or there, but I think at this time there's no need for me to continue cranking out blog posts.

So good-bye 2009. Good-bye my little blog land. It's been fun.

I started writing this awhile ago...

2009-12-22T10:17:00.006-06:00

(Picture taken from here)

To try and sum up the last month in a few words is nearly impossible. My life has been complete chaos. But in the midst of everything, God has given me moments of pure joy and peace, and has blessed me in so many ways.

For example, a few Sundays ago, our church had their children's program (which was AMAZING, to say the least...) It is so clear to me why Jesus said that we ought to be like little children.

TJ had the opportunity to arrange the hymn "Oh, Come Emmanuel" with a few friends and play it in church. It was so incredible to be able to see TJ using his voice and musical talent to glorify God. The arrangement was beautiful and so worshipful... I wish I could have recorded it.

Work has been great. Between my coworkers and the kids I work for, it's almost like another family. It seems that after I crossed the 1 year mark, things became more comfortable.

We moved to a new apartment. For just a small increase in rent we were able to get another room, a washer in dryer in the apartment (yay! no more laundromats!), windows that work, hot water that lasts more than 10 minutes, a dishwasher, garbage disposal, and natural sunlight... so wonderful!

So since all this has happened, I now sit at the beginning of 2010 and wonder what in the world God is going to do this year.

I have a few resolutions in mind... but I'll save that for another time.

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and New Years!

RUN LIKE HELL!

2009-11-18T00:35:00.008-06:00

That's exactly what TJ and his sister did.

Three weeks ago, we drove to Portland with TJ's sister and her husband for the RUN LIKE HELL half-marathon. We planned a little extra time into our trip to do a little mini-tour of Portland... but I'll talk about that some other time.

What was so fun about this race, was that it was halloween themed. And what do you get when you mix halloween with a race? Entertainment! I could not believe the crazy outfits people wore. And not only wore, but RAN in! I saw batman, superman, mario, cavemen, numerous guys dressed as girls, guys wearing suits, wonder woman, nurses, prom queens, gorillas, care bears... you name it, people ran in it.

My personal favorite had to be the guy dressed as Fred Flinstone. HE RAN BARE FOOTED! And he was pulling his two kids in one of those kids bicycle trailers that he strapped around his chest. Can you imagine running 13.1 miles like that???? Here's a picture to prove it...

But I digress. Back to TJ and his sister. They both did AMAZING! Their times were well under 2 hours and they both finished strong. We hope to be able to go again next year, and get my little niece in the kids 'Run Like Heck 1/2 mile Run'. And who knows, maybe I'll do a little running too...

Here they are before the race. Yes, it was that dark!

TJ- running strong to the finish

After the race!

my new friend

2009-11-09T01:52:00.003-06:00

I have lived in Spokane for just over a year now. In 2 weeks I'll have been at my job for a year. And today, I made my very first Spokane friend.

And she's seven.

Okay, so maybe she's not my very first Spokane friend, but she's the first one to invite me over to her house!

It was really quite wonderful.

I don't know what it is, but I always seem to hit it off with kids, elderly, and developmentally disabled. I'm not saying it's a bad thing, (I think they are some of the most beautiful people), but sometimes I wish I could connect better with people my own age. And the job I have now certainly isn't helping. I tend to forget how to have normal adult conversations when I spend all day talking about hermit crabs and poop, and communicating at a 5-year old level.

Sometimes I wonder if it's because of my own insecurities and fear of being known. I feel like I can be myself around those people and they won't judge me. They don't care if my grammar is bad, or if my shoes don't match my clothes, or whether or not I have all my ducks in a row. I guess I feel safe.

So now all I need to do is get over myself and not care so much about what others think. Easy, right? Then I'll make some grown up friends. And it probably wouldn't hurt if I read some books with big words and tried to expand my vocabulary...

comfort music

2009-11-03T10:57:00.002-06:00

It's kind of like comfort food...but minus the calories.

To me, comfort music is what I listen to when I just need something familiar during a time of change. It's music that I don't have to think about. It's music that I never seem to get tired of, even if I put it away for a season. And the sound of it usually brings me back to a different time in my life. Today, I need some comfort music.

So I think I'm going to pull out Enter the Worship Circle - Chair and Microphone I and III, make myself some tea, finish baking a couple of cakes, and head over to the JW coffee shop for some good conversation and knitting.

What's your comfort music?

a little explanation

2009-10-20T01:33:00.003-05:00

After getting a text from a very loving and concerned friend (thanks Danille!) asking if I was okay, I thought I'd better explain what exactly happened today.

At the gym I go to, they offer two classes in a row. On days when I'm feeling ambitious, I'll do both. Other days I pick one depending on my schedule or how lazy I feel. When I woke up this morning, I was planning on doing both, but after I got home from work I had convinced myself that since I had such an exhausting work weekend (50 hours in 4 days...) I would nap, and then do one class.

I checked what classes were going on tonight and the first one was a cardio class and the second one was a class called Abs n' Booty (Awesome, right?). Soooo... being that I did not feeling like exerting too much energy, I chose the Abs n' Booty class.

So I enjoyed a nice little nap, dragged myself out of bed and headed to the gym. When I got to there I discovered a room full of people who had just finished the cardio class, but nobody wanting to do Abs n' Booty. The trainer then offered me a free training session instead and I took him up on the offer.

He asked me if I wanted an intense cardio workout or a cardio with weights workout. I told him to pick and he chose the later. I had done this same workout with him when I first joined and I figured it wouldn't be a big deal.

I had made it through almost the entire workout. I had one exercise left to do. I think it was chest presses on one of the machines. I started feeling nauseous and stopped. He went to get me water and the next thing I know I'm on the floor!

Needless to say, I felt like a dork. And to think, I used to be afraid that I would biff it off the treadmill, but I never considered fainting.

Lesson learned today: Breathe while exercising!

note to self:

2009-10-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

passing out at the gym is not cool.

thoughtless and exhausted

2009-10-12T00:40:00.004-05:00

Being the state that I'm in, it's probably not the best time to write, but... what the heck!

I just got done pulling back-to-back doubles at work + a regular 8 hour shift this morning, and I'm beyond tired. Emotionally and physically.

But there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I have 3 days off IN A ROW this week. And I am pumped.

So what's on my never ending to-do list this week?

#1. Get a Washington drivers license: This one is going to be hard for me to do. I'm really quite fond of my Wisconsin one. And sometimes part of me feels like I'm just on a very long vacation (while having a job and paying rent) and any day now I'll head back home. So getting a Washington drivers license sort of kills that fantasy.

#2. Get a Washington license plate: *see above*. And my tabs expire this month. I really don't have a choice on this one.

#3. Go to Greenbluff!: Greenbluff is a neat little farming community outside of Spokane. I've probably mentioned it before, but it doesn't hurt to repeat myself! Anyway, it is definitely apple picking season and I can't get enough of it. Last week I went there with one of the kiddos I work with and I happened upon the Empire Apple. And it is fantastic! And while I was there, I really super badly wanted a caramel apple, but by the time we had picked the apples and paid for them, the kiddo was DONE. So a caramel apple is a must this time. And cider. Mmm...

#4. Polka Dot Pottery: I painted pottery for the first time last winter with a bunch of really talented, swell gals. And ever since I've had the itch to go back. But this time I'm bringing TJ, and we're going to paint mugs. Fall and Winter are perfect seasons for drinking hot drinks out of mugs and we both loved the idea of custom painting our own. I'll post pictures of the finish products. Well... maybe.

#5. CRAFT SOMETHING: I haven't decided if I want to sew, scrapbook, or knit. (Geez...I never thought this would be a dilemma for me!) But something will get done. Or started.

I could add at least 25 more things to this list, but I learned in college (one of the 3 things I learned) that when it comes to making goals, it's best to ... Keep It Simple Stupid! And since over half of my list is pretty much stuff I want to do, I really shouldn't have a problem following through.

2 years and 1 day

2009-10-06T15:20:00.007-05:00

That is how long TJ and I have been married. It's crazy. When I pictured myself being married for 2 years, I also pictured a stable career, knowing where we were going to settle down, and possibly a kid. So yeah. I was way off.

But I'm okay with that. I really like where we are. It's way better than my original little idealistic plan. I can look back over the different experiences we've had, (too many to name), and see how God used all of them to shape us, unify us, and pull us to him.

Bad news though. I had a goal to get all of our wedding pictures in an album by our anniversary, but I failed. I could make excuses, but I won't. Instead, I'll just share some of my favorite pictures with you, and shoot to have them in an album by our 3 year anniversary instead. That should be enough time...

Food.

2009-09-24T19:47:00.004-05:00

I've spent more time in the kitchen the last 2 days than I have pretty much all summer. It all started when I decided to try out my first frozen dinner. Last week I bought chicken breasts and put them in a freezer bag with a pepper lime marinade and popped them in the freezer.

Tuesday night, I put them in the fridge to thaw, and they were ready to go on the grill by dinner. They actually turned out really good. Plus, it helps to have TJ - a.k.a master chicken griller - to help. Seriously, he's awesome at grilling chicken.

On Thursday TJ and I went to Greenbluff to do some apple picking. Of course, I had to make an apple pie.

And for dinner, I finally got to try out my new pizza stone. Let me tell you, it makes a huge difference. I think it's the best pizza we've made, and we've tried so many different pizza crust recipes.

As long as I have the desire to cook, I'm going to keep doing it. Knowing me, I'm sure it won't take long before we're eating grilled cheese for dinner again...

wide awake at 5am

2009-09-24T07:25:00.006-05:00

I woke up a little over a half-hour ago and I knew I wouldn't be falling back to sleep anytime soon. I snuggled with Ingrid a bit before turning off the air conditioner that we had mistakenly turned on after a 90 degree day, forgetting that the temperature would drop nearly 50 degrees overnight, and then fought with my desire to sleep, and knowing that I should stay awake.

So I threw on a jacket, poured myself a glass of orange juice, and went in the living room and prayed. I think that's why God woke me up this morning. I pack my day so full of stuff, that I never seem to leave time or energy to talk to God. Which is so foolish, considering what's been going on lately.

Is it just me, or does it seem like sickness, cancer, and impending death is everywhere these days? Is it the time of life that I'm in? Is this usual? Because if it is, I don't like it much.

Without getting too personal or something, I'm flying home next week to spend time with my Grandpas (yes, that's plural) who both are going through some tough health battles. It was almost surreal last night when I was booking my flight. Knowing what I was going back for, but not really understanding what is happening. It's easy to feel disconnected when I live so far away.

At the same time though, it's definitely not just my family who's struggling through sickness. In the last two weeks, my friend's g-ma had a small stroke, my pastor's wife was in the hospital, another friend's mom was diagnosed with cancer, a member of our old church is going through chemotherapy, and my old high school professor who has been battling pancreatic cancer for the last 15 months is receiving hospice care. It's really overwhelming.

So when I was praying this morning, it wasn't just for my family.

I know that God is the healer and comforter, and no matter how he chooses to work all of this out, I trust that God is good and good will come from it. Even if it causes me pain.

As my Grandpa said, "A time to laugh, a time to cry, a time to live, a time to die."

a DQ sort of day

2009-09-22T15:25:00.002-05:00

I decided that I'm going to get a blizzard today. My favorite is the reese's peanut butter cup. Sometimes I like cookie dough. but today it will definitely be reese's.

a little aaron espe

2009-09-18T16:02:00.003-05:00

I read that Jesus walked the stormy sea and he pulled Peter up
Said, Man you gotta believe me
And he shared with his disciples
Said, Here's how to be free
If you asked me I'd say most days
I totally agree
But right now I can't pray, I don't feel like talking to God
I need somebody out there with a little skin on them

Hmm Mmm-mm-mmm

When I read that story I heard thunder everywhere
I could hear that boat crashing on the waves
The bow is in the air
And I have respect for Peter who had faith enough to dare
Step out onto the water
While all the others stared
And when hell is on your back,
Sometimes you think you got strength and you say,
Hey Lord, save me, I'm drownin' out here!

But I'm caught somewhere between Faith and Doubt
And I feel like I'm never going to find my way back outta here.

Last night I felt free just like I was a kid
So I layed in the grass and thought of all the things I did
When I didn't know of pressure it was easy to forgive
You didnt have to be perfect
Not in my neighborhood
I don't know what year things became so unclear but I'm still here.
But I'm caught somewhere between Faith and Doubt
And I feel like I'll never find my way back outta here.

This is the song I quoted from earlier today. I just thought I'd share.

mac or pc?

2009-09-18T10:50:00.002-05:00

Ingrid is a mac, not a pc.

noticing a pattern

2009-09-18T01:25:00.003-05:00

"I'm caught somewhere between faith and doubt and I feel like I'll never find my way out of here..." ~ Aaron Espe

I was thinking about the last few posts I wrote that were about God and faith and stuff like that, and I realized that they were pretty much all downers. Not much rejoicing and encouragement coming from me, that's for sure!

And I just thought it was time that I explained myself a little bit, in case you're all thinking that I'm losing my faith or falling away from God or something like that.

First of all, I just want to say that I think sometimes God calls to do certain things, and maybe at the time we chose to follow Him, we don't understand exactly why He wants us to do something or even the full weight of that decision. A few months ago, TJ and I left the church we grew up in. We knew God wanted us to leave. And when we made that decision, we had no idea how much pain and uncertainty would come from that and it definitely wasn't how I imagined it to be. But, we had peace. And we still do. I'm just saying it would have been a lot harder to follow God if He would have told us ahead of time all the struggles that would come with it.

So anyway, over the last year or so I've been wrestling quite a bit with what it means to follow Christ and how I'm suppose to live that out. TJ and I have been going through scripture on our own, and have come across some things that have forced us to think about issues that we never really had before.

And honestly, it's been hard. I wasn't ever taught to critically think, or that it was ever really okay to question God. Or even just admit at times that I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. So after we left the church, I found myself with the overwhelming weight of making my faith my own. And it's weighty. It really is! I think I always used the church body as a crutch, or a safety net. I'm not saying everybody does that. I'm saying I did. So when God took that from me, took away my false security, it was scary. But I'm glad He did it, because it's been forcing me to go to Him.

Overall, I think what is hardest for me to handle is to go from feeling like I know everything about being a christian, to realizing that I actually know nothing. And I'm truly starting over.

So thank you all for bearing with me and my posts that are filled with doubt and questioning. But I do believe that God is good, and He will not leave me in this fog forever.

while i was at work tonight...

2009-09-16T00:50:00.004-05:00

I watched the biggest loser.

I have never seen the show before. At least not more than parts of episodes here and there. Something about using people who are overweight as entertainment never really sat right with me.

With that said, I did watched it tonight. And. I. cried. I literally bawled. I cried when the one woman shared how her husband and two children died in a car accident. I cried when one woman said her mother was a heroin addict. I cried when one guy found out he had type 2 diabetes. And I cried during the first and weigh in and then again (happy tears) during the weigh in when they lost their first pounds.

This show totally got me tonight. And, I'm not even kidding you when I say that before the show was going to start I was going to make cookies, and surprise, I never ended up making them.

*And by the way... the child I was working with was asleep, and I was doing my paperwork and cleaning during the show, so I was technically working. =)

laundromat inspirations

2009-09-11T14:48:00.004-05:00

My laundry has been in my car since Tuesday, the day I originally had planned to do laundry until I got majorly sidetracked. And lazy.

So today, I figured I had better do it, since I'm at the end of my 4 days off from work. Don't worry, I'm still getting my 40 hours in... it just took only 3 days.

While I'm waiting for my laundry to dry, I thought I'd better jot down some things that have been on my mind lately. Things I've been meaning to get done, and things I aspire to do in the next couple of months.

- Make my own frozen dinners: TJ and I both work second shift. It's great that we are on the same schedule, but the schedule we have isn't very conducive to having regular meal times and eating healthy. It might take some proactiveness on my part, but I think I can do it.

- Finish scrap booking our honeymoon: How long has it been since our honeymoon? Oh yeah, almost 2 years. I'm maybe about half way done. My goal was to get it done before we moved to Washington. Well that didn't happen. I'm not much of a scrap-booker, so if this is the only scrapbook I ever do, I will be happy. But I need to finish it!

- Put our wedding photos in an album: Again, this should have been done awhile ago. Our wedding photographer was awesome. But awesomeness comes with a price, and when it came down to it, we didn't want to pay the extra $300 for a custom album. I have all of the prints, I just have to buy an album and put the pictures in it. Really, this shouldn't be that difficult.

- Finish sewing my own grocery bags: I feel a little guiltier every time I go to the grocery store without reusable bags. So I've decided to make my own out of old sheets. I've finished with 3 of them, and I think I want to make 3 more with a few different sizes. Now remembering to bring them with me might be another challenge...

- Make Christmas gifts: I feel like every year I get older, I'm less creative with the gifts I buy for people, but the price seems to go up. So this year, I'm going to try and mix it up a bit. Maybe I should apologize ahead of time to those of you who will be receiving a Christmas gift from me.

My laundry is done drying now, so I think I'll leave the list at that.

what is obedience?

2009-09-10T15:30:00.001-05:00

"God says, "Take one step to the left." And we go, 'That might be embarrassing. How about I run right at 100mph?" - Matt Chandler

Lately I've been wrestling with what it means to be obedient to God. I get frustrated with myself for focusing more on the 'big' decisions in life rather than seeing how God is calling me to be obedient to Him every day. Because for me, it's so much easier to push God away, ignore Him, and make excuses not to do the 'small' things He is calling me to. I mean, come on God, do I really need to pray now? I can call my sister later. What's that? You want me to actually do what I tell people I am going to do? Does really matter how I spend my money? Hold on God, I have to finish watching America's Next Top Model first. I know I got 9 hours of sleep last night and you want me to clean, but I really just need a nap right now. And how dare You ask me to not check facebook 34 times a day... (Get the picture?)

And so when I look at my life, I can see the really obvious ways I'm avoiding God - see above - but other times, when I look a little closer, I see how easy it is for me to ignore God by involving myself in seemingly harmless religious activity... listening to sermons, reading books about God, getting involved with different projects at church, going to church ... which none of these things are bad. In fact, they are all good.

But when God says, "Give me your heart. Let me break you. Let me heal you."And I say, "How about instead I go to church every Sunday, Listen to 3 sermons a week, get involved with as many groups and projects at church as I possibly can, and talk about You to my friends and family. Oh, and I also promise to read my Bible and pray more."

That is not obedience. That is me, running 100mph in the wrong direction.

Cabin Adventures: part 4- Family, Food, Fishing and ... Dogs?

2009-08-27T22:58:00.009-05:00

My Gramma's husband, Ron, and my uncle Dave are both pretty handy in the kitchen. And when I say handy, I mean awesome. Since both of them were there, we never had a shortage of good food.

Did I mention that there was corn? I mean, lots and lots of corn? My mom was making us pledge ears because we had so much.

Ron's chicken tacos

My Uncle loves to fish. And he'll take anyone who wants to go. And he's patient, which is essential when anyone from my family wants to go fishing.

Casey is my mom's very loyal, semi-psychotic dog who made major strides during this vacation. She made her very first dog friend, Hannah.

Hannah was one of the neighbor's dogs who spent most of the time around our cabin. It might have had something to do with the fact we fed her sandwiches and eggs...

When we first got to the cabin, my aunt and Rach had gone to the shelter and came back with two dogs. We washed them in the lake, took them for a boat ride, went on a walk, and fed them before taking them back to shelter. And Rachel fell in love with this puppy and by the end of the week, decided to adopt her. And after spending 2 days going over hundreds of names, Rach decided on Tara.

And despite all the drama that comes with my family, I love them. And it's nice to be near them.

Cabin Adventures: part 3-Settlers of Catan

2009-08-26T10:38:00.006-05:00

My family loves to play board games. Our new favorite game is called Settlers of Catan. I'm not any good at describing how to play games, but I can tell you that it is awesome.

things are getting intense

TJ had a little too much fun with the game pieces

Cabin Adventures: part 2- Water Skiing and Mamboing

2009-08-26T09:55:00.007-05:00

When my family spends a week on a lake with a ski boat, it's inevitable that these two things are going to happen.

My Uncle Dave is the one who usually drives the boat. He has the highest success rate of flipping us.

That green raft is named Mambo.

TJ and Kevin

Me and Rach

Sporting the stylish life jackets

"Look Ma, I can ski!"

TJ's attempt to drop one of his skis.

Cabin Adventures: part 1- Noodling

2009-08-25T22:48:00.013-05:00

For the past few years, my mom's side of the family has gone up to northern Minnesota in August, and spent a couple weeks at my uncle's lake home. As for myself, I've always spent summers working at least one job, and I've never stayed at the cabin more than 3 days. At least until now.

I picked TJ up at the airport on Wednesday, (after I had already been in Wisconsin for a week), and the next morning we left, not to leave the cabin until a week later. It was awesome.

A tradition that has been started is a little something called the 'Noodle 5000'. This is where someone will boat a bunch of us out into the middle of the lake, we grab a noodle, jump in, and swim all the way back to the cabin. The swim back to the cabin makes for some good family bonding time and the bonus of a little exercise.

Wisconsin: part 2- Sarah, Grace, and Jessi

2009-08-24T23:11:00.004-05:00

I've written a few posts about my little friend, Jessi. I used to be her 'therapy', (as she would call me), back when I worked as a play therapist. I miss this girl a lot.

So seeing her and her family was definitely a highlight of the trip. I cannot even begin to tell you how much this girl has changed over the last year. When I saw her in May, I literally cried. She's grown so much - physically, verbally, emotionally. I still can't believe she used to be the little girl I would push around in a stroller when she was 3.

We spent an afternoon down at Irvine Park where the girls could play in the fountain and look at the animals. We had a blast.

Wisconsin: part 1 - Jenny and Luke

2009-08-24T21:18:00.005-05:00

Jenny and Luke's Wedding

The first 3 days of my trip were spent in southern Wisconsin getting ready for/being apart of my friend Jenny's wedding. I was very honored when she asked me to be in her wedding, and then the fact I had planned on being in the Midwest around the time she chose the date of her wedding was perfect. And I was stoked that my boss let me have 2 weeks off of work.

I could not have been any more grateful for being able to be there. I got the chance to spend time with Jenny, help out with wedding details, and catch up with some old friends.

The wedding itself was beautifully done, but it was Luke and Jenny that made the wedding beautiful.

feeling torn

2009-08-12T22:20:00.004-05:00

This happened the last time I visited Wisconsin back in May.

Torn between two places. Two places far away from each other. Both places have things that the other place doesn't have. Both feel like home. But then again, neither do.

New friends. Old friends.

Evergreens. Oak Trees.

Mountains. Rolling hills.

His family. My family.

New church family. Old church family.

marmots. cows.

And in the back of my mind, I know that God might not have either of these places in mind.

camping: part 2

2009-07-28T12:40:00.005-05:00

We camped in Colville National Forest right by a beautiful little lake that we pretty much had to ourselves. It was great to be out in nature with no computer, cell phone, or running water. TJ and I were so thankful for Becca and Sam. They knew exactly what to bring, where to go, and really made it a lot of fun for us. These are some of my highlights from the trip:

-I accidently knocked over TJ's beer with my roasting stick and it happened to spill directly into a bag of chips. Seriously, no beer touched the ground. So TJ poked a hole in the bottom of the bag to drain out the beer, and ate them anyway. I hadn't laughed that hard in a long time.

-Squeezing 4 of us into a canoe. It must have looked ridiculous

-Bacon and pancakes cooked over a campfire. I'm pretty sure that's how it was meant to be done.

-Cliff jumping. It took some prompting, but I did it!

-Sam's 'Indiana Jones-like' appearance. That hat was awesome.

-Becca's art supplies and creativity. She's so talented and I felt blessed to be around her this weekend

-Watching TJ doing manly things like stoking a fire and chopping wood. I could just see him come alive

-Deep conversations about life around the campfire. And smores

-The stars were amazing. I can't remember a time where I've seen so many

I guess that sums up our camping trip in a nut shell. I'm so glad I went. It was just what I needed before my work marathon begins! In exactly 3 hours...

camping inspirations

2009-07-27T21:15:00.004-05:00

I survived my very first camping trip. In fact, I more than survived it, I experienced it. I faced a few of my fears this weekend and it felt good. And it made me think. And I felt inspired.

In the past, I've really stuck myself inside of a box. A very small one. With not very many air holes. Not much room for growth. Or life.

I guess I feel like the type of life God wants me to live will have some risk, some uncertainty, and might push me out of my comfort zone. And in order for me to follow Him and live that way, I will have to leave my box.

So little by little, I want to remove the box around me, and start trying new things and put myself out there knowing that some will reject me, and I will fail at times. That I not live my life worrying about what others might think or say. Because there is only One that I answer to. And that One, does not give me a "spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and self-discipline."

So who knew I would get this out of camping?

camping.

2009-07-25T15:25:00.002-05:00

I've never gone before. My summers growing up were spent playing softball and working.

I am very excited to go.

But I just wanted to say 'good-bye' in case I get eaten by a wild animal.

the short and fast road to burnout

2009-07-25T11:09:00.003-05:00

I am a planner. And when I plan things, I usually think that I have more time than I do. Back when I was in college (instantly feeling old...) I would make to-do lists with probably 20 items to complete in like 5 hours. Of course I would never really finish more than 6 things, but while making the list, I felt like 5 hours was an eternity.

The difference between that situation, and the one I currently find myself in, is that while making those t0-do lists, I was completely aware of my time frame. I knew I had just 5 hours.

I'm going to do my best to explain this situation. It's a little confusing, so try to stay with me...

Today is July 25.

On August 5, I leave for Wisconsin... (YAY)

On August 7, I am in my dear friend, Jenny's, wedding...(double YAY!)

And I'm not returning for 2 weeks...(triple YAY!)

Because of the nature of my work, it's really stressful when someone takes vacation. So my boss had to schedule me the three days before I leave (sunday-aug. 2, monday-aug.3, tuesday-aug.4). And in those three days, I am scheduled 40 hours. And I'm cool with that. Granted I won't be able to do anything the days before I leave since I'm scheduled from 6AM-10PM, but that just means I have to be on top of things.

And then TJ and I had planned a camping trip with Becca and Sam for the last weekend in July. Which is this weekend (Friday-Sunday). We had to shift the dates to Saturday-Monday, because last minute TJ's boss required him to work Saturday morning. Now I typically work Monday-Friday with weekends off, but one of my coworkers was able to switch shifts, so I have Monday off, but now I have to work Saturday.

So earlier this week, when I was switching shifts and thinking about my schedule, I thought I had 3 weeks until I left. So in my head, I was thinking that I would work this week, Tuesday-Saturday, have Sunday off like usual, go into my Monday-Friday work week, have Saturday off, and then work my 40 hours, Sunday-Tuesday, and leave on Wednesday.

Obviously I was wrong. Since I only leave in 2 weeks (make that 11 days) my schedule looks something like this.

Camping: Saturday-Monday

Working: Tuesday-Tuesday. 80 hours in 8 days.

Leaving: Wednesday.

So I have a bazillion things to try and squeeze in before leaving -alterations for dress, hair cut, packing - and one less week to do it than I had thought.

I will be SO ready for vacation... =)

a day outside

2009-07-19T16:54:00.007-05:00

Yesterday, it felt like summer. Becca and I drove to Coeur d'Alene and rented a canoe and spent the morning out on the water.

We paddled into a wildlife reserve where we we saw ospreys, a family of ducks, and even an otter! Not to mention the backdrop was just beautiful.

TJ and Sam joined us in the afternoon after they got done with their morning hike. They canoed while Becca and I spent some time in the water and on the beach. You know, just catching some rays.

It was so nice to get outside and do something just a little out of the ordinary with a couple of really great friends. Whenever I do something like this I always wonder why I don't do it more often.

Meet Ingrid...

2009-07-14T13:23:00.006-05:00

Our new addition to the family.

some etsy love

2009-07-12T19:23:00.006-05:00

(photos taken from here)

I made my very first etsy purchase. And I love it. It is exactly what I was looking for in a journal - small enough to fit in my bag, binding that isn't stiff, blank pages with no lines, super cute...

So I thought I'd give a little shout out to Joliet, and her shop - Broken Glass and Papercuts.

dinner

2009-07-07T23:16:00.003-05:00

I've been a little careless with my grocery shopping lately. So after the last time I went, I ended up having 2 1/2 dozen eggs and 5 peppers in my fridge, 2 loafs of bread, and 6+ pounds of ground beef.

Thankfully the bread and meat we can freeze, but we needed to find something to do with the eggs and peppers. So TJ had the brilliant idea of making an egg bake. And the best part about it, was that he did it. And I got a little nap... (still adjusting to work!)

And actually, it was pretty awesome. What can I say? My husband can make a mean egg bake. =)

a strawberry filled weekend

2009-06-30T18:01:00.005-05:00

Last weekend I actually did something. I picked strawberries. And it was wonderful.

Going into it, I told myself to only pick what I would realistically use. Yeah...that didn't happen. I kept thinking of the Israelites gathering manna in the desert...but that still didn't stop me.

So I started eating. And cooking. And freezing. And I ended up with red stained fingers, strawberry shortcake and chocolate dipped strawberries, and 3 bags full of frozen strawberries. And to be honest, some still in the garbage.

All I can say is that I hope I've learned my lesson. There really can be too much of a good thing.

Trip to Midwest #2

2009-06-30T00:38:00.003-05:00

Flights booked! Time off requested!

Wisconsin here I come!

Stuff Christians Like

2009-06-29T18:31:00.004-05:00

I ran across the blog stuff christians like a few months ago and have been extremely entertained ever since.

So I suggest you check it out if you need a good laugh. To get you started, here's a few of my favorites.

Orange drink

Booty, God, Booty

Reading every single word in the bulletin when bored

Getting single people married as fast as possible

Having a very specific idea of what certain people from the Bible looked like

BAH!

2009-06-23T21:32:00.002-05:00

Love my new work schedule! Since the kiddos are on summer vacation, I moved from working 2-10pm to 6am-2pm.

I would love it so much more if I was a morning person.

And if tomorrow I didn't work a double. (both shifts combined, my friends).

And if I could sleep through a whole night without waking up in a panic every 3 hours thinking I slept through my alarm.

And if I could convince myself I can live on less than 8 hours of sleep a night so I don't have to go to bed before dark

And if the kiddo I worked with wasn't up at the butt-crack of dawn every morning. "It's summer vacation! You should not be getting up at 5:30! The animals at the pet store are still sleeping!"

But other than that, it's great.

to long

2009-06-18T12:53:00.004-05:00

It's confession time:

Typically, when I would read through Paul's letters, I would kind of breeze past the intro part, because I figured that his little intro was really, specifically meant for the people he was writing the letter to, and not to me. So I rationalized that it must not be important for me to read, because I couldn't gain from it...(selfish and ignorant, this is why I need Christ)

But when I was visiting home, I got the chance to get together with a few close friends I used to do Bible study with. And even though we only got to chat for a few hours, I could not believe the amount of encouragement and love I received, and I was completely overwhelmed with a feeling of being connected in a way that goes far beyond being friends.

And in that moment, I finally was able to understand how Paul was feeling when he said, "how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus."

In the process of moving out here, TJ and I wrestled with knowing what God wanted us to do (which was move), and knowing that we would have to give up being close to our friends we did Bible study with (which for over a year we really considered our church), my family, and our job security. But we had to be obedient to God. And he has been faithful to us and has given us close spiritual friends, and jobs, and more family, and has shown us how important it is to be obedient to him.

So I guess what I am trying to say, (very ineloquently) is that God calls us to different paths, and throughout that journey, God will continue to connect us to other members of the body of Christ, so that wherever God calls us, we will always be able to long and pray for those God has given us in that season of our life.

I think it's beautiful.

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of his, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart; for whether I am in chains or defending he confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me. God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ- to the glory and praise of God." ~ Philippians 1:2-11

birthdays all around!

2009-06-08T02:19:00.009-05:00

Ahhh... June 8th. A beautiful day for a birthday. Or even TWO birthdays!

Happy 81st birthday to my motorcycle riding-golf playing-big hearted-cancer fighting Gramps! It's been kind of a rough year, so I can say I am SO thankful to be celebrating this birthday!

Happy 23rd birthday to my life-long, beautiful pal, Bethany! I wish I could be taking you out somewhere snazzy for dinner tonight where we could chat for hours about life with our bud Megan. You are one of the reasons that I really miss being in Eau Claire. So Happy, Happy Birthday.

almost

2009-06-08T02:13:00.004-05:00

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened by a yoke of slavery." ~ Galations 5:1

AMEN!

nice transition

2009-05-31T12:43:00.004-05:00

A couple of days ago I was moping around the house feeling sorry for myself, feeling a teensy-bit discontent and not wanting to go back to work.

And I really think work was just what I needed. Plus, God has totally given me a couple of really easy shifts which makes for a great transition back to my job. And having the child tell me she was "re-glad that she loved me" and "re-glad that I came back" (she likes to put 're' in front of words...) helped shed some light on my selfishness and bring things back into perspective.

Hopefully the maladaptive behavior-free shifts will continue, but either way I can praise God for giving me this job and putting these children in my life.

wiped

2009-05-29T12:55:00.002-05:00

Last week in the midwest was nuts. Amazing. But nuts. Usually 1 social get-together is enough to tie me over for a few weeks...or months. So in 7 days, I literally squeezed in a year's worth of social stuff.

And it's been 2 days since I've returned to Washington and I'm still recovering - emotionally and physically and spiritually. Talk about going from the mountain to the valley.

Hopefully in the next couple of days, God will pull me out of this funk, and I'll be able to share some amazing things that happened last week. But for today, I could really use some prayers. And possibly a nap.

holy moly

2009-05-27T01:58:00.001-05:00

In 7 hours my flight leaves... =(

Why am I still awake you ask?????

Because time goes by so much faster when I sleep.

sewing project #2

2009-05-19T19:58:00.005-05:00

I'm 98% sure my sister Rachel does not read this blog. If she does...well Rachel, I guess you're going to find out what your grad gift is!

The last week I have been agonizing over this project that I knew from the beginning I was way in over my head. It's just that sometimes I get this idea in my mind and I can't get it out until I do it. And when I saw a pictures of this bag in "Bend-the-Rules Sewing" I knew I had to make it...even if it lead to my destruction. Which, it almost did.

BUT, thanks to the guidance of my dear friend Becca today, I was able to finish it. Yeah, I know I leave tomorrow. I was preparing myself for an all nighter.

So. Here it is!

I hope to make one for myself in the next couple of weeks. Or months.

special b-day wishes

2009-05-19T19:53:00.004-05:00

Today I was looking through my pictures and I found one I meant to share a few weeks back from my birthday...and kudos to TJ for the most creative gift wrap ever...

so close I can almost taste it

2009-05-09T00:02:00.005-05:00

Less than 12 days until I'll be catching an airplane and flying 1500 miles East. So here is my pre-Wisconsin to-do list.

1. Birthday gifts for: Dad, Elizabeth, and Grandma

2. Graduation gift for Rachie

3. Bridal shower gift for Jenny

3. Make a rough itinerary of places to go and people to see! (Not enough time there to try and be spontaneous)

4. Drop Ella off at the in-laws (single tear...)

5. Stay focused at work (I feel like I have senoritis. I'm so close to my week vacation that I'm starting to slack...not good for the kids I work with!)

6. Pray. Pray. Pray. Seek God. A lot going on, prayer is needed.

7. Get vegetable garden going

8. Stay away from the pet stores (there seems to be a plethora of adorable kittens that need adopting)

9. KEEP RUNNING!!!! (I've been a slacker since the race...just as I predicted)

10. To help me with number 9, register for another race. It just needs to be done.

So there is my top 10 things I hope (need!) to accomplish in 12 days.

And, as a side note, I felt I owed Yakima a little lovin' for the sweet little coffee shop, Northtown Coffee. I'm sure if I ever lived in Yakima...(please Lord, no)...I would be visiting the shop frequently.

Bloomsday Finisher

2009-05-04T11:11:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I ran Bloomsday. I came in 8,222 place out of 44,490.

You know, I'm okay with that.

Yakima is kind of lame

2009-05-04T10:21:00.003-05:00

But! The Senate rock.

When TJ and I were planning this little mini-vacation, we never considered that Yakima just might not be that cool. So in absence of this thought, we decided to drive up the night before and spend the whole day in Yakima until the concert started at 9PM.

So we did a little researching online before we left. We found out there are tons of wineries in the area. For the average person, doing wine tastings would probably be an enjoyable way to spend an afternoon. But for me, who is not so average and does not care for wine, was not super keen on this idea. I just didn't think I would appreciate it as much as the wine lovers and connoisseurs.

There were a few hiking trails outside of Yakima which sounded like a something we would like to do. But, realistically, neither of us have done any hiking so we just didn't have the gear we needed.

So pretty much we decided just to get there and then figure it out as we go. Not the smartest idea, but this was a learning experience. So what we eventually ended up doing was going to a movie, stopping by an arboretum, and chilling out at a little coffee shop until the concert started.

So overall, it was okay. We made the most of it despite our poor planning. The music was good and we're going to try and make it over to the Seattle area in the next couple of months to see them again.

yakima

2009-04-30T17:44:00.002-05:00

Tonight, TJ and I are headed West to a little place called Yakima. You see, tomorrow night my new favorite band is playing there, and since Yakima is the closest they get to Spokane all year, I figured it was worth the 3 hour drive.

Becca and I found this band completely on accident one night when we decided that we desperately needed to find something to do while our husbands were getting together with the youth group from church. So we quick checked the inlander, (which is kind of like a much bigger version of the volume one for those of you out in Eau Claire), and found out that Noah Gunderson was playing at the Caterina Winery. The inlander described him as the best Sufjan Stevens impressionist yet, so Becca and I decided to give it a shot. Little did we know that the opening band would totally steal the show.

My friends, the name of this band is, The Senate. They are a rock and roll acoustic trio band from Seattle and I must tell you, their music is good. I'd encourage you to check them out on youtube or itunes or just take a quick look at their website. You won't regret it!

elizabeth update

2009-04-28T15:34:00.001-05:00

SHE MADE IT HOME!!!!!!!!!!

elizabeth

2009-04-27T12:49:00.004-05:00

Right now, my sister is somewhere over the Pacific ocean flying to LA, and from there, she'll be flying to Minneapolis and arriving at 11PM - 9PM Washington time.

She's just spent the last 6 months in Cambodia working to implement music therapy into the treatment program for the young girls in the recovery centers who have been rescued from sex slavery.

Please pray for her. First for a safe flight home, and also for her transition back to American culture. And while you're praying...please pray for her continued ministry in Cambodia and God's will for her in all of that. And also that she will come visit me in Washington. =)

fear and peace

2009-04-25T13:04:00.006-05:00

As a Christ follower I have been taught, and I believe, that God gives us direction. He presses on our hearts and minds and leads us where He wants us to go. And sometimes I feel like because I believe this, I need preface every life-altering decision I make with..."I really feel God is leading me to (say, go, act, think, do...)"

Honestly, sometimes I have no idea where God wants me. Is it wrong for me to say that? I am always torn between thinking that if I want it, God must want it for me, or because I want it, God must not want it for me... like somehow I humanize God and He's just playing games with me.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. There seems to be so many big decisions that need to be made that really impact our future. TJ and I have been dealing with so many questions -where do we want to live? when should we move? should I go back to school? should TJ go back to school? if so, what for? what kind of lifestyle do we want? yurt or house? rent or own? kids or no kids? when kids? adoption? - you get the picture.

There's one question I didn't mention that's been consuming us for the last few months. We are getting really close to answering it. And for maybe only the 2nd time in my life (that I can remember), I feel peace that this is where God is leading us.

The first time I felt that was when TJ and I decided to move out to Washington. Every fiber of me wanted to stay in the midwest and be close to my family, friends, and my church family, but there was a strange peace about leaving. In fact, I felt so much peace that I actually acted like I knew why God wanted us in Washington. Now that I am here, and have been here for 6+ months, I can see my arrogance in actually thinking I knew what God intended. What I thought was the sole purpose for our move has only been just a fraction of all of the work God has done here.

So this time the peace I'm feeling is joined with fear. I have to admit I don't know exactly how God plans to use this. And I can't pretend do. God is requiring obedience to Him in an area of our lives that doesn't seem wrong. I hope that as TJ and I continue to seek God in this, my fears will dissipate and I will open my hands to whatever God calls us to.

I mean, come on, He called Isaiah to run around the streets naked for 2 years and proclaim to the Israelites that they were going into desolation. If Isaiah can be obedient to that...

This just made my day

2009-04-16T16:36:00.001-05:00

Day of Birthdays

2009-04-15T13:45:00.004-05:00

First off,

Happy 21st Birthday to Danielle!!!! I hope you have a wonderful day filled with lots of family, friends, and of course, cake - since it is your 21st birthday and everything. =)

Another birthday is being celebrated in Wisconsin today. My little flower girl/best friend/ play therapy child turns 6 today! I can't believe how fast Jessi is growing up! And since I haven't seen her in 7 months, I'm sure she's much taller and even more talkative than before. I miss her hugs and her smiles. So Happy Birthday Jessi!

it's official

2009-04-15T12:46:00.006-05:00

I am registered for Bloomsday. That's right, in less than 3 weeks I will be running a 7.46 mile race. I'm pretty excited!

My sister-in-law wants me and TJ to run the Seattle Rock 'n' Roll half-marathon with her on June 27th. For the last few years I've been making weak attempts at running half-marathons, and I've always backed out or made up some lame excuse. And I'm thinking that if I can successfully run Bloomsday, there's a good chance that I could actually do a half-marathon. Historically, I tend to slack off after running a race, or even just after a longer-than-usual run. I will have to find something to keep me motivated!

I bet if I register early for the half-marathon and pay the $100 entry fee (yikes!) that will keep me going... not to mention my new running shoes, courtesy of TJ =) *see photo*

entering into the crafting world...

2009-04-14T13:03:00.006-05:00

I have so many beautiful, talented friends who are so creative and artistically gifted. Every time my friend Becca sews a beautiful new apron or knits a cute little baby hat, I just sit back in amazement. And I so admire the beautiful pictures my friend Bethany takes or the way she expresses herself in her writing in a way that just takes you to where she is. Whenever my sister learns to play an instrument or sings one of the songs she written, all I can do is listen in awe.

I could go on for a while with this list.

Being surrounded by such beauty and creativity has left me feeling a teensy-bit insecure about tackling any sort of artsy project. I mean, most of my life has been spent on the softball field and I never really thought the art world and sports world could collide. And the part of me that doesn't like to try an activity unless I think I'll naturally excel at it didn't want to go anywhere near a pair of knitting needles or a sewing machine.

But...as I try to overcome my fear of failure, (which is a ridiculously crippling fear), and spend more time around Becca, I've been finding myself dabbling in a few projects. I finally figured out knitting a couple months ago-thanks to Becca-and just last week I finished my first sewing project.

Just like Becca and Sam, TJ and I have been doing a cash-only budget for the last few months. We really like it, but those darn manilla envelopes kept ripping, not to mention that they looked a little tacky...not that it matters...but when Becca suggested making cash pouches, I was convinced.

So here are a couple pictures of our cash pouches. We used the artsy clutch pattern from the book, Bend-The-Rules Sewing.

The different fabrics correspond with a different budget category. For example, the brown pouch in the back is our grocery fund, because we think the little circles look like doughnuts...

TJ even got in on the sewing action. He made this bag and chose the fabric. Yes, those are dancing skeletons, so of course this would be our entertainment fund.

We both had a lot of fun learning to sew together and now I just have to find the ambition to tackle a new project. Any suggestions?

to-do list

2009-04-13T12:00:00.003-05:00

The last 4 days have been emotionally and physically draining. So today, I slept in. I've been up for nearly an hour and so far I've done nothing, and I have the feeling nothing will get done. I work in less than 4 hours, so my time is limited. Here is a quick list of things I hope to get done today.

1. run 3 miles

2. go to bank

3. light housework

That's it folks. It should not be that hard to do this...but lately it seems like God's been wanting to show me just how impossible it is for me to do anything on my own. So by God's grace, I will have a productive morning and look to see Him through all of it.

23 today

2009-04-08T14:03:00.003-05:00

My friend Megan turns 23 today!

In honor of her birthday, here are 23 things I've found most memorable about our friendship.

1. My first friend

2. Since I could remember we were always competing - around the world, pig, who could hold their breath the longest under water, who was taller - and Megan almost always beat me, but she never made me feel bad about it.

3. We watched David the Gnome after school in kindergarten and ate her mom's canned peaches and pickles

4. We started t-ball the same year. She was a little penguin and I was a lucky duck

5. We were tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum for halloween

6. We also were golfers for halloween

7. Can dance like no other- especially to The Lion Sleeps Tonight. (I do have that on tape by the way)

8. We took swimming lessons together and were the only two in level 6 and our teacher passed us both, even though I'm sure I shouldn't have...

9. We played softball together on the Gophers, the Twisters, Hallie Stars, the Flash, and at Immanuel Lutheran, but played against each other in college

10. The best softball catcher I ever had

11. She totally hit a home run off me in college

12. We were tour choir partners 2 years

13. We did a Bible Fair project in 8th grade about Hell

14. We've had numerous crazy sleepovers with our friend, Bethany.

15. We've been friends for 23 years

16. We both stopped playing softball the same year, but wished we could have played together again. If only I would have transferred to Eau Claire...

17. She helped me realize that I really didn't like what I was studying in school

18. Milo and Otis

19. We would call each other before school to see what the other person was wearing

20. She always burned me the best music mixes in High School. That girl has good taste in music!

21. She got me one my favorite birthday present ever ... and Disney Children's Cookbook

22. I credit Megan for getting me through summer softball because at the time, we were both so different from the girls we were playing with. Maybe it was all those years of Lutheran school... =)

23. Even though we hardly ever see each other, I know the next time we get together we will pick up right where we left off.

So Megan, I don't know if you are reading this or not, but thank you for your friendship.

fleeting happiness

2009-04-07T13:42:00.004-05:00

"God is not after our happiness, He's after our joy." - Matt Chandler

When I woke up this morning, I felt happy. I was anticipating how I was going to spend my day off, planning on a nice long run, busting out the new sewing machine, and maybe even making dinner tonight...maybe. The day was already gorgeous, barely a cloud in the sky, and I just felt happy.

Then I was getting ready to go for my run and my phone rang. Guess who it was.

My boss.

Here's the conversation that took place

Boss: "Andrea, Billy just hurt his foot today and he can't come in to work his shift tonight. He's scheduled with Vince, who isn't cleared yet, and so we need another staff who is cleared to come into work. "
*(the names of the staff were changed, and not being cleared means that a staff's background check has not gone through and therefore, is required to work with a cleared staff)

Me: "uhhh...can I think about it for a little bit? I did have some plans today and things that I was hoping to get done. Can I call you back in like an hour"

Boss: "Well, I don't want to be mean but you are my first call and I would like to know whether or not you can work it so I can keep calling around."

Me: "Can you call other people first? If nobody can work it I suppose I can do it."

Boss: "There really aren't that many options. There are only 2 other cleared staff besides you that aren't working today and Jenny probably has day care issues."

Me: "Ok, well if you could try calling them and then I'll call you back soon."

Boss: "That's fine"

It was amazing to me to see how fast my mood could change. I went from smiling to crying within a matter of minutes. (I really did cry...) And it didn't take much. It wasn't like something tragic happened. My boss just asked me to work. That was it.

I guess the point I am trying to make is that if I thought God was coming to make me happy, I would be daily disappointed and frustrated with God. God is after my joy, which can be sustained through sadness and grief. And working overtime.

Romans 15:13 "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit."

Andrea - A.K.A...

2009-04-05T01:18:00.002-05:00

The Android.

One of the 'perks' of my job is getting the coolest nickname I've ever had. That's right. One the kids I support calls me 'Andrea the Android'. It doesn't get much better than that.

sparta

2009-04-05T00:42:00.002-05:00

My dear TJ loves finding quirky videos on youtube. I, on the other hand, feel like sifting through the bazillions of videos is an overall waste of my time. But don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good youtube video just as much as the next person.

Especially videos featuring cats.

TJ found this video a few nights ago and I pretty much love it. And those of you who are cat owners might get a kick out of it. And not to mention this guy's dance moves are the bomb...

out of my comfort zone

2009-04-03T18:40:00.005-05:00

It's amazing how quickly I can be pushed out of my comfort zone. I think my comfort zone is more like a comfort box, because it seriously doesn't take much.

Earlier this week I was watching a debate about the reality of Satan. I wasn't even the one debating, but I felt so uncomfortable watching my beliefs getting challenged that I literally was nauseous, and I was so close to just turning it off.

Just today, I did a training where I had to pretend like I was non-verbal and blind, and then use body language to communicate that I hadn't eaten all day and I was hungry. For those for those of you who know me well, probably know that I would rather sit in a lecture hall for 8 hours than get up in front of people and try and act something out. So that was extremely awkward for me (though I must admit, an enlightening representation of what some of the people we work with go through...).

Or on a more personal level, I am terrified of being known. I've gotten to the point with some of my coworkers where we've said all of the basic introduction talk - where are you from?Are you in school? Any kids? and so on - and what I tend to do is just avoid people after this point, because I'm uncomfortable sharing on a deeper level.

So my gut instinct is to run away. I realized that this way of thinking has stunted my growth, both spiritually and relationally. If I stay in my little 'safety box' all of the time, when will I ever get the chance to get to know people and love them as Christ does? Or when will I be able to no longer be ignorant about what I believe and why I believe it? And then go on to discuss my beliefs with someone who doesn't agree with me and not get defensive? How many times have I rejected what God was telling me to do because it made me feel awkward? How selfish am I? So often I think that if something is difficult, God doesn't want me to do it. Like the easy way must always be God's way. Or if something doesn't work the first time, that must mean he doesn't want me to do it. Which it seems that in scripture, it's really quite the opposite. Like God is asking, "how much are you willing to sacrifice and suffer for my glory?"

I guess I don't really have a complete thought on this right now, so overall, what I am trying to say is that my life died with Christ. I am not living for myself. I shouldn't have a comfort zone. My comfort is in Christ crucified.

1 Peter 1:6-8 "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith-of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire- may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy."

Seattle (part 3)

2009-03-30T10:51:00.006-05:00

I have to admit, Seattle is a pretty rockin' town. I had only been to Seattle one time before this and that was nearly 6 years ago. And if I remember back to that time in my life, I was definitely more concerned with my hair and impressing my boyfriend's family than I was with finding the beauty in Seattle. So it was so great to be able to go again and see it all with new eyes. And what really made it awesome was having Katie and Charlie as tour guides. Since they have lived in Seattle for over 3 years, they were able to avoid the tourist traps and take us to some pretty spiffy places that Seattle has to offer that could easily be overlooked.

For example: The Taco Bus

This is the taco bus. I was a little skeptical at first. I mean, just look at it. But I was quickly proven wrong....
Katie, TJ, and I all split a plate of tacos and they were awesomely delicious.

In this picture you can kind of see the inside of the taco bus. It was surprisingly clean.

So if you are ever in Seattle and you find yourself in the mood for some tacos with not a lot of extra money, do yourself a favor and go to the taco bus. You won't be disappointed!

Seattle (part 2)

2009-03-27T13:31:00.006-05:00

As I mentioned in my previous post, Elsa was a definite highlight of the trip. More specifically, the car rides with Elsa. I got to sit in the back seat with her, and 85% of the time, she was content and sweet. I had a hard time putting down my camera! These are some of my favorites.

Seattle (part 1)

2009-03-26T11:34:00.006-05:00

TJ and I each had 3 days off work and decided to drive over to Seattle to see his sisters, Katie and Karrin, and their families. We managed to squeeze in quite a bit, so instead of trying to fit it all into one blog, I will do a few blogs about it over the next couple of days.

But first, I need to share a picture of our adorable neice, Elsa.

She was definitely a highlight of the trip!

Before even deciding to visit Seattle, Katie and Karrin had been talking about checking out some churches in their area, and we had offered to go with them. So it was perfect when we were able to be there on a Sunday. And I was even more ecstatic when TJ's sisters said they wanted to check out Mars Hill. Their preaching pastor, Mark Driscoll, has become known throughout churches and the media for his use of text messaging in his sermons and his unconventional ways of preaching. So of course, I was intrigued!

Mars Hill has 7 campuses throughout the Seattle area, and we went to the one in West Seattle where Katie lives. That church only has about 800 members, making it one of the smaller campuses...the largest one is in Ballard, having over 3000 members. They make use of video technology so that Mark Driscoll is technically the preacher at all of the locations, but each location has separate church pastors that lead their members. Does that make sense? I think I said that right...

Anyway, we went to the 5PM service, and it was a little sparce, maybe only a couple hundred people? The building was large, but modest. There were no indoor fountains, coffee shops, or fog machines. They did have a little book store where they were able to sell Christian books for less since they are a non-profit organization.

The service started out with worship music. I did enjoy the worship song choices, but I was a little bothered that I couldn't hear anybody else singing because it was a little loud. And I like worshipping with people, and instead I kind of felt like I was singing along at a concert. But the worship band did play well and I appreciated that.

There were announcements and prayer after worship. Then they lowered the video screen and Mark Driscoll came on the screen. They had been going through 1 Peter, and were at chapter 3, verse 7, which speaks to men. Here are the sermon notes. I won't go to much into it, but overall he addressed some serious issues concerning men in the church and he preached very powerfully, but I felt there was a lack of scripture used. The text messaging came into play after the sermon, where people were allowed to anonymously text in their questions for him to answer. They closed with communion, a few more worship songs, and prayer.

So has anybody else heard of this church before? Any opinions on the text messaging or the video sermons? I'm just curious to see what other people think. So let me know!

to know

2009-03-18T13:11:00.004-05:00

About 8 months ago, TJ was looking for something to listen to while he was at work, and he happened to find The Village Church podcast. Since then, God has used so many of these sermons to speak directly into my life. I was listening to this one today, and Pastor Matt Chandler addressed one of my biggest heart issues right now. His words are much more eloquent then mine, so I'm going to just copy down an excerpt from that sermon. If you get a chance, listen to the whole thing.

"Now, spoken and unspoken, churches have this kind of unwritten code of Christian behavior...In fact, depending on the time of life that you get saved, the list looks different. Like if you got saved when you were in college, your heart was awakened to the reality of Christ in college, all of a sudden, you have to start playing the acoustic guitar. Because you can't be a Christian and not play the acoustic guitar in college, that's for sure. And you have to join a worship band or you start reading John Piper's books, and you've go to go here, and you've got to do that. And you start filling out that list. Now when you're older, it looks a little bit different. You know, you're Republican, you've got to fight this moral quandary that our nation is in, as we as Christians are hard pressed. And by the way, if you'd like to fly to Leberia or China, I'll pay for you to go, and then you can see what hard pressed is. And then you've got a checklist, you've got to study this, you've got to join this, you've got to go here, you can't do this, you better start doing this... Here's my point: what ends up happening is we begin, whether spoken or unspoken, to try to conform to this list of expectations on Christian behavior. We begin to work towards it and begin to master it, and where we can't master it, we begin to pretend to master it. And what ends up happening is we grow more and more and more in the knowledge about God and wake up and can't find Him anywhere. So that, what ends up happening is our knowledge about God has increased monumentally over that moment where He became real to us, but Jesus is nowhere to be found. Jesus is nowhere to be found."

One of the most haunting parts of scripture to me is Matthew 7:21-23

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, drive out demons and perform many miracles?' Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you. Away from me you evildoers!' (bold lettering added)

And then I look back on all my years of religion classes, sunday school, church, chapels, devotions, and I have to seriously wonder if I just know about God, or do I actually know Him.

the fam

2009-03-17T09:58:00.006-05:00

Last weekend, my sisters-in-law and their families drove from Seattle to celebrate Emily's 1st birthday and give TJ and I a chance to meet our little 2 month old niece, Elsa. Here are a few pictures!

Karrin and Emily

TJ getting Emily started on the drum

Little Elsa Louise

Emily enjoying her birthday gift

Uncle TJ, Emily, and the pinwheel

Katie and Elsa

what I do

2009-03-15T14:06:00.005-05:00

I work as a direct support professional for adolescents who have developmental disabilities. The children live in a group home setting and get 24 hour care. I can't go into a lot of detail because of confidentiality laws, but let's just say when the kids are having a good day, it's really good. Like I wonder how I could actually be getting paid for watching movies and going to parades. But when the days are bad, they're really bad. Like I might just spend 2 hours on the ground blocking hits, kicks, bites, hair pulls, pinches, and scratches.

And I love it. There's never a dull day.

This week was a little crazy though. I found out what happens when a staff gets fired, but the children still need support.

Overtime.

Last night I recorded 58.5 hours on my time sheet for last week. It felt really good. This week I'm working a little less - 57 hours - but by next week I will be hopefully back to my regular 40 hour weeks.

I tend to feel like since I worked a lot, I don't need to do anything else. And therefore nothing else (running, cooking, cleaning, reading....) gets done. For example, It's 12:39 PM, I've been up since 9:00, and I'm still sitting in my PJs even though I have to leave for work in an hour. And my one goal I set for myself this morning was to run and I totally didn't do it. So pathetic.

So there you have it. I hope your day is much, much more productive than mine. And sunshiny.

proof

2009-03-03T14:46:00.004-06:00

When we lived in Eau Claire I was always trying new recipes and was determined to make as many things from scratch as possible. Now that we're here, that's pretty much gone. Especially since I work at night. Even on my days off the last thing I want to do is spend my entire day in the kitchen.

But last night, I made dinner and it was pretty good. So I thought I'd share the recipe. I found the recipe here, but I modified it slightly because of what I had. So here's what I did.

Tortellini Soup with Sausage and Spinach

1 lb. mild Italian Sausage

2 garlic cloves minced

1 lb. cheese tortellini

1 bag fresh spinach

1 tsp thyme

salt and pepper to taste

3 quarts beef stock

1. Cook sausage over medium heat until cooked through

2. Add thyme and garlic and cook for 2-3 minutes

3. Drain grease and add sausage, garlic, and thyme to beef stock

4. Bring to boil and then reduce heat and let simmer for 15 minutes

5. Add tortellini and cook for 5 minutes

6. Add spinach and cook for another 2-3 minutes

One change I would make next time would be to use either less stock or add more of everything else, because I like a good hearty soup. But I will definitely make it again!

oh Ella

2009-02-25T14:46:00.006-06:00

Ella at her finest

I think I can

2009-02-25T10:10:00.002-06:00

As my previous post stated, if I'm not productive in the morning, the rest of my day is shot.

It's 8:10 and I've been awake for about 20 minutes and so far I'm not doing so well. So in order to try and hold my self accountable, I'm going to make a simple list of things I WILL accomplish today.

1. Run

2. Grocery shop

3. Pay my student loan (yay)

4. Practice knitting

5. Send Karrin, my sister-in-law, a birthday card

So clearly this is nothing difficult. I should have no problem doing this today. But it's amazing to see how quickly I can become distracted....

2nd shift

2009-02-24T15:33:00.002-06:00

In 10 minutes I have to leave for work.

For the first time in my life I have a full-time, 2nd shift position. Part of me likes it. Like right now. It's been one of those mornings where I haven't really done much, (which is pretty sad considering I've been up since 6:45.)

If this were a day off, it would be wasted. If I don't start out the day productive, there's really not much hope. So instead of knowing that my whole day is shot, I get to go to work and actually feel like I'm accomplishing something.

Of course there are some days when I am feeling productive and work seems to get in the way. But not today. Today, I am ready to go to work. And if I'm lucky, I'll leave with no battle wounds ... =) But that's a whole other blog.

rain

2009-02-24T15:01:00.003-06:00

I really like rain.

The last 2 days it has rained off and on. Not snow and rain mix. No chance of freezing, creating nasty road conditions. Not rain turning to sleet, but just rain. It's rather nice.

But it's only February.

Being from Wisconsin, I'm totally not used to that. I feel a little confused as to what time of year it is. Maybe once summer comes, I'll be straightened out.

88 days 17 hours and 58 minutes.

2009-02-20T23:57:00.003-06:00

Is the countdown until our airplane will have landed in Minneapolis, MN! I cannot even express how excited I am to be going home. After we bought them, I may or may not have shed a few tears of joy....

Over the last few months TJ and I have been doing some budgeting, checking for cheapo flights, and trying to find a reasonable way for us to make it back for my little sister's graduation. Despite all of our efforts to find a deal, all we managed to find was increases in price. I was getting discouraged, kicking myself for not booking the flights when they were only $244.

On Wednesday night I decided that we were going just going to have to bite the bullet and buy the tickets before the fares went up again. Then I found out the price increased by $10, just since Monday. I was not a happy camper.

Desperately, I had TJ pull out his frequent flyer card. Last summer we tried to use his miles, but Northwest had changed their policy and pretty much the miles were only good for a 2 day trip or a 2 week trip. Or we needed twice the miles which he didn't have. Really, we didn't consider using those miles as an option. But we looked, and praise God, Northwest added a new feature which enabled us to get 2 tickets for a pretty AWESOME deal!

To spare you the math, we're headed home on May 20th, and we're staying for a week. I have a huge list of things I want to do and people I hope to see. but I'll save that for another blog =)

resurrecting the blog

2009-02-16T14:06:00.003-06:00

Last year when I started blogging, this one wasn't my first blog. My first blog was actually a running journal. I had big plans for my running last year and needless to say, I failed miserably.

I won't go into details because I already posted something about it on my running blog, but I'm starting it up again!

I feel like I'm in a better place (physically and mentally) to start running again, and I did set a resolution to run Bloomsday and if God allows me, I'd really like to follow through.

If anybody else is looking to start running, let me know! It's always nice to have someone holding me accountable and I'd be willing to do the same!

birthday wishes

2009-02-16T13:05:00.004-06:00

My little brother turns 13 today!

So....

happy birthday Kevin!

(Though I have to admit that it's totally weird to think of my brother as a teenager... yikes!)

(He's the little guy with the oxygen tubes)

sunshine and clouds

2009-02-07T18:21:00.005-06:00

One thing I'm really digging about Washington is the weather. Not to rub it in to all my dear Midwestern friends and family, but my winter coat has barely left the closet.

And besides the warm winter weather, the cloud formations here are pretty amazing. Especially with the evergreen covered mountains in the background.

I guess I can't complain.

huffing.

2009-02-03T12:16:00.003-06:00

I was reading this blog today and I found a quote that perfectly articulated what God has been revealing to me about the condition of my heart. I guess I feel the need to share.

"Our huffing and puffing to impress God, our scrambling for brownie points, our thrashing about trying to fix ourselves while hiding our pettiness and wallowing in guilt are nauseating to God and are a flat denial of the gospel of grace." - Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

pickle things

2009-02-01T22:35:00.007-06:00

"pickle things you never see, like pickles on a pickle tree..."

Pickles have absolutely nothing to do with this post. But things do.

A few things that we have discovered with our move is that we have and abundance of things that we don't need, but are lacking in things that we do need. (or want.)

Things we have too much of: photo frames, college notebooks, clothes, luggage, broken computers, crappy cds, scratched cds, stupid movies, gift wrap, sports equipment... etc

Things we are lacking: microwave cart, break lights and blinkers on our volvo, cable (probably will never get), night stands, any neighbors with unlocked wireless internet....

Things we WERE lacking: couch, chair, and .... COMPUTER!

yes. Today we decided to get a computer. But as I mentioned before, we have no internet. So it will take a little while for it to be used to its full potential. But I am glad I will no longer have to drive 15 minutes to in-laws to use them for their computer.

digging

2009-01-23T11:56:00.004-06:00

We all know the saying, "ignorance is bliss." I've been thinking about this phrase a lot in context with my faith in God. I'm not saying that because I have faith in God I am ignorant, so please don't hear that. What I am saying is there are certain ideas and questions I have remained ignorant in, because I've been afraid of how it might change what I believe, or how I'm called to live.

-Where did the Bible come from?
-Who decided which books would make up the Bible?
-What about the books that weren't chosen?
-Did Jesus really mean what he said we he commanded to sell all we have and give to the poor and needy?
-Predestination? (won't go into too much detail on this one. It would take another blog...)
-Is the baptism of the Holy Spirit something that is separate from becoming a believer? If so, how do you become baptized by the Holy Spirit?
-What about speaking in tongues and prophesy? There are chapters in Corinthians dedicated to these gifts.
-How is baptism used in the scriptures? Should infants be baptized? What about age of accountability?
-Is the Bible God's only source of authority? Or does he still speak through people today?
-If God says we are not under the law, why are the Ten Commandments still preached?
-What does it mean to be lukewarm? Am I lukewarm? (see Revelation 3:16)
-As a Christian, should I be supporting wars when Christ calls for peace?

These are just a few of the things that I have thought about briefly, and then looked away in order to prevent a possible uncomfortable realization that what I have been living and breathing for the last 20+ years might not be exactly right....

I'm sick of looking away. I'm tired of being ignorant. In the past I've been defensive toward people who make me question. I would refuse to hear. I don't want to be that anymore. So as I start digging deeper into God and discovering who he really is and what he desires, some of my perspectives might start to change. And I'm alright with that.

take a look,

2009-01-20T11:07:00.003-06:00

It's in a book - Reading Rainbow!

Last week I got a library card. Well, I should say, I got an official one. Back when we first arrived in Spokane, one of the first things I did was go get a library card. I could only get a temporary card because I didn't have proof of WA residency.

Historically, my experiences with libraries have been poor. Mainly because I would accrue some pretty sizable fines that I was too cheap to pay. It's been years since I checked out anything at a library. It was nice to be able to make a fresh start.

When I got my temp card, I made myself a goal to never return a book late. Unfortunately (but not surprising), I already failed. You see, the card was only good for 30 days, so that was the longest I could keep a book until I brought in proof of residency. I kept the book for 36 days. It only cost me $0.60, but really? I'm a little ashamed.

Now that I finally have my permanent library card, I am in need of some book suggestions. So please, if you have any suggestions at all, I would love to hear them!

think of me

2009-01-19T19:16:00.004-06:00

In less than 5 hours, I will be bundling up, going outside, getting in my car, and driving. Where will I be driving you ask? I will be driving to work. Yes. Work. A delightful 10 hour shift is awaiting me, and by 8AM tomorrow, I will be pooped.

And since lately reading has been putting me to sleep, I am praying for a Law and Order marathon. Or Monk. Or Psych. Or Cold Case. Or something with some sort of captivating plot. Because this is not a sleep shift.

So while you are putting on your cosy PJs, snuggling with your pillow, and drifting off to sleep, think of me. But don't pity me. Because I picked up this shift. And the overtime will be sweet.

flashback

2009-01-16T16:40:00.013-06:00

Good news! I found my camera cord! Here are some pictures from over the last few months that I've just been itching to share!

Matt and TJ loading the moving truck

Empty House

saying good-bye
take a close look at Ella

beautiful Wyoming sunrise

a rainy day in Idaho

poor Ella hated the ride

Nearing Washington

* We did make it to Washington, but not long after we got there we decided to drive south to visit my Gramma and Ron down in Arizona!

amazing Nevada mountains

What was awaiting us when we arrived. Mmmm....

Seriously good

day trip to Grand Canyon

What we found at the Grand Canyon!

totally cute Ron & Gramma

Wild Burros roamed the old ghost town of Oatman, AZ

The town came with it's own caption =)

TJ and a baby burro

* We traveled to Seattle for Thanksgiving

The whole List gang - minus newest addition - Elsa Louise born 12.20.08

TJ and niece, Emily

the start of the big snowfall

after the first big snowfall

=)

our new place (with A LOT of work yet to be done)

less

2009-01-13T12:54:00.002-06:00

So after a couple days of contemplation and one whole day without any media, I feel as if I may have a continued thought from my last post. Bear with me on this one. My thoughts are a little unorganized.

Psalm 139: 13-14 "For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."

God has uniquely created me. He has gifted me with certain talents and abilities that are different than others. There is no other person exactly like me. I should celebrate the fact that God has given me interests and set me in an environment to help cultivate them and grow.

1 Peter 4: 7-12 "The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray. Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling. Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others, faithfully administering God's grace in its various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, he should do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God my be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen."

But.

These gifts are not for my glory.

I think this is why I've been struggling so much with this. I know the right words to say. Believe me, I have the 'Christian verbiage' down. I fully understand that everything I do should give God glory. I can make myself appear that I'm living my life this way. But you see, I know my heart. My heart is wicked. My heart is prideful. I want the glory.

I really believe there is nothing wrong with creating a profile and expressing who God has made me, but this goes way deeper than creating a profile. My struggle with that is just one of the many symptoms of a heart issue.

I cannot even put into words how much I desire to be able to live solely for the purpose of giving God glory. There is so much freedom in living as if I have died and having Christ take full reign in me. Look at how Paul lived? There was nothing anyone could do to Him here on earth. It's just so frustrating to want something good, to desire my life to be lived as God commands, but not being able to. It just makes me even more aware of what a hold sin has on my life. I cannot do it on my own. I have tried.

I guess that's all for now. I will leave this open-ended with the hopes that the realization of this self-glorification in my life will push me closer to God. That by God's grace there may be less of me revealed through my life, but more of Christ.

2009-01-10T01:39:00.003-06:00

Two blogs in one day. I know. It's crazy. Really it's more like two blogs in twenty minutes. I must not be able to sleep or something....

I was taking a look at my profile info and I noticed a serious lack of mentioning God.

So I was trying to figure out where to place God.

I guess it just seems weird to me that I would have God and disney in the same category. Or even call God an interest. He is so much more than that.

Or how about placing the Bible next to Edward Fudwupper Fibbed Big. Or even call the Bible, just a book. It is so much more than that.

(I have a tendency to over think things. Obviously... )

And then it lead me to think about the process of putting together my profile. Why do I pick certain things and not others? From my profile you would never guess that I haven't gone running in over 3 months or I've barely listened to any Sufjan Stevens music besides the song "John Wayne Gacy" and his Christmas album.

I've got to be honest here.

It is all about self-image. My self-image. There's this part of me that wants you to think that I am a certain way. It's sick. I'm sick.

Colossians 3:2-4

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory." (bold lettering added by me)

If I truly believe what God has said, and what Christ has done, my life right now isn't my life. I died. This life is no longer about me and who I am.

So what do I do with this?

Right now, I don't know.

a sense of urgency

2009-01-10T01:20:00.002-06:00

I am a proud member of the Disney movie club.

Yesterday, I received an e-mail from the club telling me that certain Disney titles were going to be locked up in the Disney vault on January 3o. One of these titles was The Little Mermaid.

Yes. I ordered it. And now I am impatiently awaiting it's arrival. As I am unpacking it would be the perfect background noise. You see, I love watching and/or listening to Disney movies while cleaning. I am not kidding you when I say I probably watched Pocahontas 10 times in the last year because the music is amazing. As goofy as that movie is, you have to admit the songs are very catchy! - "I look once more, just around the river bend..."

And just in case you are wondering, the other titles that are being locked away are Peter Pan, Peter Pan in Return to Neverland, and The Little Mermaid: Ariel's Beginnings.

two months later...

2009-01-08T13:17:00.005-06:00

We found a place to live somewhere other than TJ's parent's basement! We are more than thrilled to finally have a place of our own.

We are not so thrilled about the unpacking part. In fact, even though we've only been married for a little over a year, we managed to accumulate loads of stuff. And this place we picked is quite a bit smaller than the place we lived back in Wisconsin. So needless to say, a lot of stuff has to go. Which, actually, I'm really okay with. I don't like have emotional attachments to stuff.

Not having the internet whenever I want is something else I'm going to have to adjust to. With 2 broken computers and a tight budget, we may have to 'rough' it for a while. When thinking about all of the time I spend on this blasted piece of technology, the absence of a computer can only be a good thing. I may even find time to work on those resolutions I set for myself... =)

What I like most about our place is our landlord is letting us have a garden. I have to admit that I've never had a garden before, much less started a garden, so it will definitely be a learning experience!

God has been so gracious and we are so humbled by all of the ways He has blessed us.

Taking the first step

2009-01-03T10:54:00.002-06:00

I'm doing it! I'm buying a sewing machine. In 2 hours I will be on my way to pick it up from friendly craigslist seller!

I found the perfect vintage singer sewing machine from the 60's that still comes with the original instruction book: $25.

I have been talking about learning to sew for over a year, and I don't know how I thought I was going to be able to do it without a sewing machine, because I had never thought seriously of buying one before. So this is the first big step in my attempts to sew!

Because it's that time of year

2009-01-01T13:20:00.006-06:00

Last night my friend Becca asked me what my New Year's resolution was. At that point I hadn't even thought about it. I normally don't do resolutions. But this year, I might give it a shot.

1. Learn to knit or crochet: I've tried knitting and never quite got the hang of it, but I'd like to try it again. I've heard crocheting is a little easier, so between the two, I should be able to figure one out!

2. Learn to play piano: I took 3 months of piano lessons when I was seven years old, and then in college I took 2 semesters of piano. I can sort of find my way around the keys, but I would love to get to the point where I can pick up a piece of music and play.

3. I would like to learn to sew: Eventually, I would like to be able to make my own clothes, but I would start out with something simple, like curtains.

4. I want to run Bloomsday: Bloomsday is a 12-kilometer race in Spokane that has over 50,000 participants each year. I've never ran a race more than 6 miles, and ideally I'd like to run a half-marathon. But I'll start with Bloomsday.

5. Get involved with a Christian community: I don't know where to even start with this one. How do you go about finding people who love Christ? I want to meet people who love God and love people and want to serve others. I want to be with members of the body of Christ.

So there you have it. My New Year's Resolutions.

It's not you, it's Mii...

2008-12-30T17:33:00.004-06:00

For Christmas TJ and I got a Wii. It's pretty much amazing. I don't know who thinks of all this crap, but kudos to them!

I've gone through major gaming stages in my life (Not something I am proud of)
For Christmas one year when I was like 7, my parents got us a nintendo. I rocked little mermaid and I could play forever. Then in 6th grade my mom and I found a sega genesis at a garage sale. I played countless hours of toy story and sonic and knuckles - beating both games - and laughed like crazy playing toe jam and earl with my cousin Christine. One summer while I was in high school, TJ let me keep his N64 at my mom's house when he went back to Washington. I wasted all of his tetris scores, and my summer.

Then I stopped for a while. Later, I discovered the magic of internet games early in college when all of a sudden I had a lap top and free internet in my dorm room, but kicked that habit pretty quickly.

I had decided to swear off video games. I had a history of wasting time and brain cells and this addictive nature of mine didn't help.

But I could not refuse this Christmas gift. And maybe it's because I'm growing up, or my priorities have changed, but now I am able to enjoy it for a little while, put down my remote, and continue my day. It feels good.

His Ways

2008-12-29T13:05:00.003-06:00

are higher than my ways.

Long Distance Christmas

2008-12-26T11:48:00.003-06:00

Honestly, this Christmas was a little hard on me. But there was one thing that helped ease the pain.

Skype.

Skype is a downloadable program that allows communication over the computer. And it's FREE!

While my family was opening gifts at my mom's house, I was listening in and getting commentary by different people in my family. It almost felt like I was there. I was able to talk to Elizabeth (in Cambodia) and my mom at the same time for the first time in over 2 months. I got to hear Rachel's reaction to finding out that she's going to Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and Kevin's loud and happy yells when he found out he was going to the Vikings game AND Wild game on Sunday. I got to laugh with my mom as we opened up some of the quirky gifts she gave me and TJ. This may sound strange, but I really felt God's presence through it all. And I am so thankful to Him for giving our family this opportunity and bringing us all together, even though we're still so far away.

Wrapped around her little paw...

2008-12-24T12:35:00.002-06:00

I was just about to get up and make me some Christmas Eve french toast, and my lovely Ella decided it was the perfect time to snuggle.

I can never refuse a good snuggle. I guess my french toast will have to wait....

Merry Christmas Eve and I hope you also get to enjoy some good eats. I would recommend french toast.

"Get Behind Me Santa..."

2008-12-23T21:46:00.003-06:00

A few blogs ago I explained that while it seemed like everyone else was decking the halls and decorating the Christmas tree I was trying to figure out why I wasn't experiencing the same kind of yuletide joy.

A few things have changed since then.

1. I did get my hair cut, but that's irrelevant.

2. I purchased a Christmas Album and loved it. Sufjan Stevens - Songs for Christmas -

3. It snowed. A lot. And Continues to snow. A lot.

4. I did a little Christmas shopping. I had to be on top of my game this year since most of my purchased gifts required shipping.

5. My mom sent me tinsel and the most wonderful tree ornament ever. If I can ever find my camera cord, I will post pictures. Because it was so wonderful, I probably cried. And I probably have it sitting on my night stand instead of hanging on the tree, because then I can look at it before I go to bed.

I'm not quite sure Christmas Eve is actually tomorrow, but again, my calendar tells me it is, so I suppose it is appropriate to say, "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas"!

=D

2008-12-18T12:37:00.003-06:00

IT'S SNOWING!

I mean, seriously snowing. Like record-breaking snowing. We've gotten 19+ inches of snow in the last 24 hours. It's the most snow Spokane has seen in 40 years ....

The goofy thing about Spokane is because they don't loads of snow very often, the road care is terrible. I heard it once said that my hometown of about 60,000 people has more snow plows and workers than the 200,000+ population of Spokane. So needless to say, the entire city of Spokane is shutting down. I love it.

Praise God for the BEAUTIFUL snow! It's totally uplifting.

I will post pics later

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.... or not...

2008-12-06T14:06:00.003-06:00

Today I went outside in a sweatshirt and jeans. It is 40 degrees on December 6. Seriously. What is going on.

There are 5 things that usually let me know Christmas is coming.

1. Halloween - We drove for 15 hours on Halloween through Wisconsin, Minnesota, South Dakota, and Wyoming. No trick-or-treaters, no orange and black, no candy, just a car ride.

2. Thanksgiving- We left at 3:30AM to get to Seattle to see more of TJ's family, and nor was it a 'traditional' Thanksgiving. We ate 'Chuck-Luck', which included mustard crusted ribs, beets, celery root soup, braised turkey with mushrooms, citrus fruit salad, turkey leg cooked in duck fat...just to name a few. No football, no movie theater, no Grampa eating one plate in an hour, no pumpkin pie, not really Thanksgiving.

3. Snow - We had one day where it snowed. The next day it melted. No winter coats, no mittens, no scarves, no hats, no snow.

4. Finals - I graduated in May. No classes. No projects. No studying. No anticipation of Christmas break. Not that I'm complaining.

5. Christmas music- There has been a serious lack of Christmas music. Mainly due to the fact that since the previous 4 things haven't occurred, I don't really feel like Christmas music should be played. Which is sad. Because I really love Christmas music.

So as far as I can tell, Christmas is not 3 weeks away.
But my calendar keeps telling me it is.

I think I'll get my hair cut today. Then maybe it will feel like Christmas.

How 'bout a revolution?

2008-12-05T17:25:00.004-06:00

TJ and I are in the process of reading this book. (A very slow process, may I add...)

I am inspired by this book. The author-Shane Claiborne- presents a whole new way to look at what it really means to follow Jesus. I've really had to take a step back and seriously look at how I am following Jesus. Honestly, does my life look any different from those who choose not to follow Him? And I'm not talking morality. Morality does not equate salvation. It has to be deeper than that. What is it that makes me different? How has God transformed my life? What really does it mean to die to self daily and pick up my cross? Did Jesus really mean when he said to sell all I have and give to those who are in need? These are just a few of the questions this book has presented to me. It's definitely worth the thought.

a new way of thinking

2008-11-24T22:07:00.006-06:00

TJ and I needed another car. Last night we found one. It was nearly exactly what we were looking for. A cute 86' Honda civic, only 161,000 miles, 5-speed, hatchback. Not to mention the seller of the car was a young married guy who just found out his wife was pregnant with their 3rd child (the first two were twins). We were pumped to find a car we liked and help out some people who really needed the money. It was almost perfect. ... except the loose clutch, squeaky brakes, broken rear defrost, no maintenance history ...

But. It wasn't over.

After we got home last night we received a phone call from somebody we had emailed earlier that had an 89' volvo wagon for sale. We agreed to look at it today, but in the back of our minds we figured after we looked at the volvo we would head over to buy the civic. Then, we sat in the volvo, we drove the volvo, we loved the volvo. The only thing wrong with the volvo was that there was thumping noise in the engine and the owner was positive it was a water pump which he would fix before selling to us. It was clean, well maintained, they had records for the last 10 years ... Exactly the same price as the civic ... except these people obviously didn't need the money

We sat in our car for over a half-hour trying to decide what to do. We even drew names out of a hat (3 out of 4 times TJ picked civic...), made a list of pros and cons for each, and thought about all the worst -and best- case scenarios.

TJ made the phone call. We chose the volvo. It made sense. It was well cared for, low mileage, great condition, super comfy, great for hauling things, it had less cons and more pros.

The hard part was letting down our civic friend. Oh my goodness was it hard. We wanted to badly to help somebody financially who needed it. There was something inside of us that really struggled with the decision we had made. I won't go into detail seeing as this blog is already way too long, but there was something in us that felt like the people are more important than the product. We felt selfish for choosing a car that we like over helping someone in need. Grace. Mercy. God has chosen us even though we definitely aren't the volvo.

We have prayed that if we should buy the civic, then the fixed water pump wouldn't stop the thumping noise in the engine. We will find out tomorrow. We also pray for our Civic family.

It's amazing how God changes things.

(here's a picture of our potential 'new' addition to our family)