Lately I've been wrestling with what it means to be obedient to God. I get frustrated with myself for focusing more on the 'big' decisions in life rather than seeing how God is calling me to be obedient to Him every day. Because for me, it's so much easier to push God away, ignore Him, and make excuses not to do the 'small' things He is calling me to. I mean, come on God, do I really need to pray now? I can call my sister later. What's that? You want me to actually do what I tell people I am going to do? Does really matter how I spend my money? Hold on God, I have to finish watching America's Next Top Model first. I know I got 9 hours of sleep last night and you want me to clean, but I really just need a nap right now. And how dare You ask me to not check facebook 34 times a day... (Get the picture?)
And so when I look at my life, I can see the really obvious ways I'm avoiding God - see above - but other times, when I look a little closer, I see how easy it is for me to ignore God by involving myself in seemingly harmless religious activity... listening to sermons, reading books about God, getting involved with different projects at church, going to church ... which none of these things are bad. In fact, they are all good.
But when God says, "Give me your heart. Let me break you. Let me heal you."And I say, "How about instead I go to church every Sunday, Listen to 3 sermons a week, get involved with as many groups and projects at church as I possibly can, and talk about You to my friends and family. Oh, and I also promise to read my Bible and pray more."
That is not obedience. That is me, running 100mph in the wrong direction.
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